454. A-part

I float away…all day…everyday.

I drift away…never stay…never stay…

The same.

I am me…”I agree”…”I agree”…

Yet,…”I disagree…I’m not free to be me…

Fully”.

I want to do…what I want to…see it through;

But, I can not do what I want to…plans fall through…

The cracks.

I am there…everywhere…and no where.

I float in the air of time in despair…neither here nor there…

A piece.

I’m only ever part of me…one me…not every me.

I always find I disagree…with me…and me…and me…

In part.

I can not stay…this way…or that way.

I drift away…never stay…never stay…

The same.

K. Aldaya, 8/12/18

Picture: Original Source Unknown; https://www.thecounsellorscafe.co.uk/single-post/2016/12/31/What-does-your-online-presence-say-about-you

403. Doublethink

You taught me your doublethink,

Now I can’t escape the effects.

When ill I tell myself I’m fine,

When fine, sickness still infects.

I’m always here on the brink.

You taught me my words don’t count.

When sad to be happy.

When happy, never be too glad.

Survival’s all you can see.

Words and feelings never count.

You taught me your distortion.

Truth’s whatever served you the best;

And the truth is you lied to me,

For you, it was always best.

You flourished in extortion.

You taught me your doublethink,

Now your words, they hold no meaning.

When I’m angry I’m also calm;

Yet when calm,…anger’s seething!

I don’t think, I think…I think??

Sad is bad, and bad is sad.

And glad is mad, and mad is glad.

For 1 is 2 and 2 is 1.

You’re insane, so smile, be sad!

Doublethink has made you glad!

K. Aldaya, 6/28/17