524. Mirageneers

People say so much, and yet,

Have so little to say;

And when you try to speak on truth,

They then huff, and walk away.

Why should I trust anyone?

And why make any sound?

When my voice leaves on the wind,

Will they care if it is found?

My voice bled into the air.

Got lost: Grew starved and cold;

Which never would have happened,

If they’d have let the truth be told.

So, there’s no use in talking.

Who’s listening anyway?

No one cares if you don’t speak;

They just don’t want you to say,….

Anything to sabotage,

Or divert them away,…

From their mirage.

K. Aldaya, 8/5/20

Picture: By Tony Reid on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/PGdMhonLLZk

492. No Expectations

The-Girl-With-The-Dragon-Tattoo_Noomi-Rapace_rear-hoody-cap-31 (1)

You are not a killer,

But you are not my friend.

If I’m hiding from you.

It’s what I have to do.

Run. Hide. Defend.

You are not a monster,

But you are not an angel.

You may not be hunting me,

Though you’ll not guard or help me;

Fight or dispel.

You are not a stalker,

But you’re also never there.

Don’t say I should feel secure.

I know when hard times occur,

You won’t be there.

You are not a villain,

But you are not a hero.

You won’t be there to help me,

To traverse this world safely.

Red: Stop. People: Go!

You are not that evil,

But you are not that good.

So, I can not trust you;

A human through and through.

‘Would’, ‘Could’, and ‘Should’,

Yet none of them mean ‘Do’.

K. Aldaya, 9/25/19

Picture: Noomi Rapace in “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo“; https://clothesonfilm.com/noomi-rapace-in-the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo/

453. Dust Yourself Off

I hate when you treat me nicely.

I hate when I start to believe.

I hate that I set myself up again,

To question reality.

I hate that you’re not a monster.

I hate that I can’t run away.

I hate that I will walk closer to you,

And put myself in danger.

I hate that life’s not black or white.

I hate that I do not hate you.

I hate that nothing is ever simple,

And that none of this feels right.

I hate that I can not trust you.

I hate that to trust is a trap.

I hate that I try, and hate that I care,

When I really don’t want to.

I hate that you don’t really care.

I hate that it’s all a mirage.

I hate that I always hate myself more,

When again you leave me there…

…in your dust.

K. Aldaya, 8/11/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/iraq-sandstorm-weather-man-80329/

378. Instant Regret

hands

I really want to trust you.

To let you in…I do.

More than anything I wish I could,

Have the faith you do.

My heart, it is in pieces,

And aches of a bitter kiss.

Yet, I’ve grown so used to the pain…

Sometimes I hardly notice;

Until someone arrives,

With their expectations,

They trust me not for I can’t do the same,

And are angered by my complications.

Trust is earned with time and care,

Both of which you will not give.

Then tell me why should I just trust you,

When you instantly regret what you give?

K. Aldaya, 12/20/16

Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://now-here-this.timeout.com/2012/07/16/35-reasons-rain-is-better-than-sunshine/