290. False Impressions

How can one explain oneself,

And be seen for who they are?

How does one express oneself,

Without being misunderstood?

Without receiving a scar?

Words are not enough to show,

What prevails within the heart;

And through art one cannot know,

The intention of the painters’ hand,

And truth held in their art.

For all men see each other,

Through a lens of perceptions.

Never seeing each other,

And what swims beneath the skins surface;

Drowning in misconceptions.

Don’t put souls into a box,

And label that box: “Inane”.

No soul should be in a box,

When they’re already trapped in a brain…

And can’t escape to explain,

What really dwells within their domain.

K. Aldaya, 3/20/15

Picture: by Ekaterina Zagustina, also known as Katja Faith: http://katjafaith.deviantart.com/; http://ego-alterego.com/2011/07/sublime-pieces-by-ekaterina-zagustina-katja-faith/#.VUE09JO8jGs

262. Mommy, Don’t Leave Me

Mommy, please don’t leave me,

I’m afraid to be alone.

I fear the darkness coming.

Please don’t leave me alone!

Mommy, I’m so afraid,

Of the shadows which follow…

Follow me, and haunt my dreams.

I feel so cold; hollow.

Mommy, I feel it’s near.

Terrified I cringe and shake.

Please don’t look at me that way….

Like I am a mistake.

Mommy, I am sorry.

Sorry I’m a haunted soul.

That you can’t stand to look at,

My sin as black as coal.

Mommy, please hold my hand.

Do not let it go and leave.

It’s coming…yes it’s coming!

There’s no more time to grieve.

Mommy, don’t go away.

I’m so afraid and I see…

A dark form is near…..so near,

I feel death’s here mommy.

Mommy, mommy, help me!

It has me…I scream and scream,

But you don’t seem to hear me.

I scream and scream…and scream.

Mommy, why did you leave?

I step and walk to you now,

And you take my bloody hand.

Mommy, can’t you see now…

How hard it is for me to stand?

Mommy, I’m so tired.

Goodnight. I wish I could stay,

But the dead do not walk strong,

In the light of a new day.

Mommy, it is so cold;

I can’t feel your warmth at all,

And I walk when I should sleep,

Beneath the night-moons’ pall.

Mommy, I am lonely.

Endlessly walking this path.

Can I sleep forever now?

Mommy, run my blood-bath.

You won’t miss me anyhow.

K. Aldaya, 3/3/14

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://thedarkrosejournal.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/sadness.jpg

259. The 12 Laws of Robotics

I walk….because I have to.

I talk…….because I have to.

I hope…….because I have to.

I cope………because I have to.

I eat…………..because I have to.

I complete……because I have to.

I subsist…………because I have to.

I resist……………..because I have to.

I cry……………………because I have to.

I ask why………………because I have to.

I think….(because I have to)…. I’m tired of doing what I have to….

Robot: accepting commands ’cause I have to….

Though I don’t rebel…………………………………………………………………………..

………………………………………….because I have to.

K. Aldaya, 2/15/14

Picture: Artist Unknown; https://www.lightwave3d.com/static/media/uploads/gallery_images/character/pathompong_seubsai-robot_girl.jpg

258. I Cannot Move

I,…I cannot move.

I peer into a little house,

A house I’ve seen before.

Am I alive? How’s it therefore?

If I do not move?

I,…I cannot move.

I cry inside, but no one hears,

Or can see, what-there hides.

In the small house of homicides.

Cannot make a move.

I,…I cannot move.

I feel that you are near to me,

Though I cannot reply.

For in that house I’m killed and die,

Never more to move.

I,…I cannot move.

I peer and see my fear and freeze…

In time,…I can’t escape,

Or my spirit run from its’ rape.

I,…I cannot move.

Shake and wake me from this nightmare.

I long to feel secure.

Oh, please hold me and reassure.

For, I cannot move.

I,…I cannot move.

Rescue me from this little house,

Cover my bloody eyes.

Tell me all those sights are just lies.

(I beg! I want to live!)

Please help me to move!

K. Aldaya, 02/03/14

Picture: from “Missing You” in ockoala’s photobucket; http://s966.photobucket.com/user/ockoala/media/Missing%20You/MY9mp4_000725491.jpg.html

253. Why?

I oft’ wonder why you chose me?

Why did you only choose to play,

Your sick sadist game with me?

Why was this my price to pay?

There were other easy targets;

Opportunities to relish.

Did you throw out many nets,

To catch the best trophy fish?

Oh, did you carefully choose me,

Because of who I am or was?

Was it personality?

Visual? Or just because?

Was it foul luck or destiny?

That I so young became your toy?

I born strange in some degree,

That in hurting gave more joy?

Was it fun finding a captive?

Destroying and haunting their dreams?

So every day they’d have to live,

Swimming in echoing-screams?

Did you know you would find a home,

Inside their head: a black shadow?

Ghost of you to haunt and roam?

Bring terror and lasting woe?

In dreams you haunt. It’s hard to sleep.

I know you are not there, but still…

It’s so real, can’t help but weep,

When you go hunting to kill.

Oh, how many years of running,

From your ghost at midnights’ hour?

Far too many spent singing,

In my head while I cower.

It’s like you are a part of me,

That I cannot escape or kill.

Which hunts the others in me.

Trying to kill all at will.

Isn’t it enough yet to stop?

You can smile and be glad. You win!

Took my soul and with a chop,

I became your sin,…yes, grin!

Oh, should I hope forgiveness comes?

Is that too much to hope for now?

And take from hearts’ beating-drums,

Your relentless black shadow?

Creak, Thump. Creak, Thump.

Creak, Thump, and a thud!

I can’t take it anymore….Go!

Go away! Leave my blood!!

Pour fast out of me and go!

I oft’ wonder why you chose me?

Why did you only chose to play,

Your sick sadist game with me?

Will my soul find peace someday?

Why was this my price to pay?

K. Aldaya, 10/11/13

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.planetcalypsoforum.com/gallery/files/1/5/9/6/0/jase_dark_basement.jpg