396. Fly Away Child

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

As a child I looked to the sky.

I knew you were my everything,

Yet one day, that you would die.

I studied you in the distance;

A form of God on earth.

I worshipped without question,

The toiler of my birth.

I called out with no reply.

I saw you there unmoving.

I wondered why you were so still,

Neither loving nor disapproving.

Like a picture of a memory,

You were perfect in my eyes;

With a smile: warm and tender.

I was naive and unwise.

Then a feeling hit me like a rock,

And I ran as tears fell down.

I ran, and ran, and ran,

Through the wheat at dawn.

I came so close to you,

I swear I heard your heart,

And as you faded away,

I kept listening for your heart.

Yet, your heart, it left with you,

Along with my youth.

You left me unsure of my worth,

For to me, you were it’s proof.

I was only a child afraid,

Who wanted you to stay,

But my picture of you drifted,

On the winds of a new day.

You never ran to me, not once;

Nor cared to hear my heart.

If I ever needed a hug,

Or if I’d fallen apart.

I wish I’d known on that day long ago,

No matter how hard I ran,

I’d never have made it there in time,

For you to hold my hand.

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

On the day I said goodbye,

To the picture I had of you,

And turned toward the sky.

It’s blue was as an ocean: pure,

I found hope in it’s peace,

That even those left all alone,

May find their love increase.

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

As a child I looked to the sky.

I wish I could have let her know,

That one day she’d be able to fly…

Into the loving arms of some distant, future sky.

K. Aldaya, 5/20/17

Picture: https://www.videezy.com/free-video/cornfield

394. My Greatest Sin

I wish that I had been born,

With just the right type of skin.

I wish I knew how to make it work,

When I just don’t fit in.

I try so hard to look like them,

And duplicate their ways;

Yet no matter how hard I try,

I feel so unseen in their gaze.

I wish I had a way to make,

Things work out in the end.

To make my form a better fit,

And no longer have to pretend;

But I fear my fate is as set,

As the very skin I reside.

Born too thin to weather on,

Or remain long by your side.

I blame myself for everything.

For being born unfit.

For being a burden to everyone,

And being too selfish to quit.

For wanting what I know is wrong;

Wanting what can not be.

I know I am a fool to wish,

For what will never be.

I’ve always wanted to be the one,

Who helps you live your dreams.

I hope one day you’ll forgive me,

When my skin rips at the seams.

Thank you for holding me so close.

For loving me anyway,

And maybe if I pray enough,

I can come back to you someday…

In another life. Another time.

Born the same as you,

With thicker skin and thicker blood,

And we’ll live our dreams, me and you.

I wish I had been born,

With the same type of skin.

I wish I knew how to live for you,

When I just don’t fit in.

In a life where I’m your burden,

And you’re my greatest sin.

K. Aldaya, 5/15/17

Picture: Posted by Southern Sweetie on Bloglovin.com; https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/southern-sweetie-4084552/photo-1609929381

387. Lullaby of the Lost

Where do the dead go and who can follow?

Will you go to where they lie?

Will you search the darkest hollow,

To find the truth before we die?

Where do the lost go and who will find them?

Does anyone care they’re gone?

Who will pull-out each thorny rose stem,

Upon their heads when they are gone?

Where do our thoughts go and who will remember,

The sufferings of this mortal coil?

The fires of life shed each ember,

Of we who soon become it’s soil.

Where do the cursed go and who will love them,

When they’ve become all we fear?

Who will care to find and hold them?

Who will mourn or shed a tear?

Where do the dead go and who can follow?

Will you go to where they lie?

Will you search the darkest hollow,

To save the lost before they die?

K. Aldaya, 3/1/17

Picture: by: Branimir Jaredic; http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/1-branimir-jaredic.html?tab=artwork; http://www.magazineim.com/home/index.php/collaborators/branimir-jaredic/#7

357. Sleep

alone-arms-bed-depressed-depressing-emo-Favim.com-47601

You always sleep when I cry,

And one day you will when I lie…

in a coffin: the bed of the cursed.

Remember you shunned my pain first!

You always ignore when I bleed,

And don’t bother to stop and take heed.

Blades listen much sharper than you.

Isn’t blood now on your hands too?

You always disregard my words…

They drift onto paper like cowards;

Afraid to take to the air,

And be blown away without a care.

You always sleep when I cry,

And one day when I up and die.

Remember I told you I would.

Living: Tell me why I should!

K. Aldaya, 6/15/16

Picture: Originally posted by Doreese on Tumblr; http://favim.com/image/47601/

354. Stuck in Time

alone-andthelicks-car-city-cute-girl-Favim.com-82741

Time blows around me;

Stuck in place, I feel it pass me,

And sings it’s haunted lullaby,

Of what will never be.

I watch the time and people pass;

They wave as they walk right past.

For a moment we knew each other,

And then that moment became the past.

I stand in place and wave goodbye,

And wish them all the best and try…

To be happy they are moving on;

Though secretly I want to cry.

No one stays and no one should.

I’m lost to time and no one could,

Stay here long without a cost,

And there’s no reason why they would.

Time drift’s on and passes me,

Along with everyone I see.

Is anyone else left behind,

To make the time less lonely?

-Time blows around me.

Stuck in place I feel it pass me,

And sings it’s haunted lullaby,

Of what will never be.

K. Aldaya, 5/14/16

Picture: Originally posted on http://icanfeelyourheart.tumblr.com/; http://favim.com/image/82741/