267. Faithless

Salvation,

Does it exist?

For some maybe…but yet?

I fear there is no hope for me;

For I cannot forget.

Salvation,

Fades like fog,

From the day which journeys on.

I know no one will save me.

I step and step along.

Salvation,

Is a ghost.

I’ve heard it exists yet still,

I can’t see or feel its’ form;

It simply haunts my will.

Salvation.

Tell me how?

I know that I’m to save myself.

Yet, how….Oh God! How?

How does one save ones’-self?

Salvation.

Where and how?

I’m lost and I’m so scared.

How does one fight against ones’-self?

And come out unimpaired?

Salvation.

If I kill.

If part of me just dies away.

Would I still be ‘me’ anymore?

Or would I die as well that day?

Salvation,

Does it exist?

To me it is a mocking wraith.

I’m not capable of salvation.

No, I do not have your faith!

K. Aldaya, 4/15/14

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.scenicreflections.com/files/Captive_Angel_Wallpaper_lrcv9.jpg

266. A Rhyming Poem About Rhyming Poems

I’ve heard rhyme is obsolete,

And that it is a bore.

Poems in rhyme are tedious;

And furthermore they fuss,

“The quality: poor”.

Those pretentious elitists.

I don’t care what they say.

Rhyming is just what I do;

And I will continue to,

Write them out this way.

I will continue to write,

Though they will not publish.

They can say it’s pathetic.

Yes, in the head I’m thick.

Do as you so wish.

Why is the rhyme more important,

Than what my poems express?

The depth of what I’m saying?

Hear what I’m conveying;

Perceive and possess!

Rhyme is not some silly skill;

It is a song to me.

I hear it inside beating….beating….

Like my life-force greeting….through words…singing,

And I’m free!

K.Aldaya, 4/6/14

Picture: “Dancer in the Dark III” by Rijama on Deviant Art; http://rijama.deviantart.com/art/dancer-in-the-dark-III-88379195

265. Random Thought #8

I cannot think of what to write,

So maybe I just shouldn’t.

I cannot be dark or bright;

My heart just isn’t in it.

I cannot think of what to write,

So here’s this pointless poem.

Can’t express what I see in sight,

Or write it in this tome…

(I just want to go home).

I cannot think of what to write.

I’ll close my eyes instead;

Wait for the dongs past the hours’ height,

To lift my sleepy-head…

(*yawn*)…I just want to go back to bed….

K. Aldaya, 3/20/14

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://xosarah.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/desk-sleep.png

264. The Most Life-Like Zombie Survival Game Ever

It’s so dark in here;

And cold…yes, it’s so cold.

Won’t someone turn on the light?

I cannot see the zombies,

But I’m ready to fight.

Fight for life and limb,

Or run and run some more.

Can’t stop or I won’t survive.

I have to get out of here…

Get out of here alive.

Shhhh…Quiet! I hear….

Close by they are walking.

I will hold my breath and wait.

I do not hear them now, so…

There’s no more time to wait!

Look there! An exit!

Afraid, but there’s no choice.

I pull myself together,

I’m so close….and I….

Open to the weather.

It’s dark outside too.

Though, no time to ponder.

I keep on running….nowhere;

What is the point of it all?

If I live will someone care?

Will they care that I….

I’m surrounded by death?

Care if I’m eaten alive?

Or will they join the feast too?

Laughing: “She was too weak to survive!”

I have stopped too long.

I race to the forest.

Gasping: run and run….and stop.

At my feet the waters’ edge.

I crouch to sip a drop.

My hands reach….but what?

What is that down in the deep?

There is an eerie figure.

I step back and I weep.

Crack. Crunch. Sounds behind.

The zombies! They’ve returned!

I wipe my eyes; turn and gasp!

You are not a zombie…no…

Reality I grasp.

“Hello”, zombie says.

(the zombie: in disguise)

“Hi”, I reply, and it smiles.

A human smile….deep and warm;

A smile…it’s been awhile.

I can’t believe it!

Do my eyes see the truth?

It moves in close and closer.

Surely, it is just like me?

Nothing bad will occur.

I reach out to touch,

And as my hand rises,

It pushes me with fury.

Backward I fall and I sink;

And kick in a flurry.

I am such a fool!

To believe it wouldn’t hurt me.

I can see it’s hateful grin,

But wait, can’t reach the surface!

I look–it is my twin.

Blacker than the black,

It washes into me.

I drown and when I wake: see,

The being on the surface is…

Human, not a zombie!

There were no zombies.

Ran all my life from them;

Was easier to pretend,

They were monsters than to know,

That sorrow in the end.

Sorrow of dying….

Sorrow from rejection.

Terror of being hunted….

Devoured without reason;

And everyday confronted….

…with just trying to survive.

K. Aldaya, 3/18/14

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_rOEpjOA3UuM/TSUY3XGnkwI/AAAAAAAAB1Y/ZhI8tTXj7v8/s1600/IMG_4003.jpg

263. The Sphere

Foggy and groggy.

The day is,

Unsure; a blur.

Will the light stir,

And wake me?

Laggy and saggy.

The mind is,

Weary; dreary…

Seconds: leery,…

Of the time.

Sleepy and weepy.

The heart is,

Frigid, and hid,…

Inside, amid,…

The silence.

Broken; unspoken.

The soul is,

Hiding; residing,

In depths abiding,…

With the past.

Complex, the apex,

Of living is.

To thrive, alive,

Through death we strive,…

To find hope.

Detached and snatched.

The day is,

So near. Not here.

Will it appear,

And wake me,..

From this frozen sphere,…of fear?

K. Aldaya, 3/6/14

Picture: By: Hiroko Matsubara: http://www.hirokomatsubara.com; http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/c2/29/77/c22977e4ecef54f85dd0aa1b6114bd4a.jpg