352. Random Thought #17

I could sit for hours in this spot,

Just staring at the wall;

And I sometimes wish I could do just that,

Without any guilt at all.

Yet, I feel guilty for my absence;

For not being enough…

For letting my mind escape for awhile,

When times get tough.

So I fight against the emptiness,

And fight against the pain,

When I know it’s only a matter of time,

And it’s sure to end the same.

If one day I don’t make it back.

Please promise me you’ll try,

To still come visit, and hold my hand,

A few times before I die.

K. Aldaya, 5/11/16

351. Victims of the Sun

Near and yet so far away,

The pangs of love cut through.

We are only victims of the day;

Of the sun which reaches through,

And sets our hearts on fire.

Hearts rage in the blazing heat,

Pulsing with fresh desires.

Will we be able to stop our feet,

From burning in these fires?

When hearts so oft’ rouse our feet?

Near and yet so very far.

Hearts smolder in the sun.

We turn away as our insides char,

For we’ve no choice but to shun,

What will only leave a scar.

K. Aldaya, 5/10/16

Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://divinetrinitytarot.tumblr.com/post/135661808106/happy-summer-solstice-to-my-followers-in-the

350. Murderer!

You asked me what I want from you,

I’m happy to oblige.

I simply want my soul which you…

Massacred!

You laugh, for you know you can’t bring,

Anything back from death;

Because once you murder something…

It is gone.

You know you can’t change what you’ve done,

And what you never did.

You walk headfirst into the sun…

Blindly on.

Why did you always walk on by,

While I bled under your feet?

You knew my soul was going to die…

And let it.

So, don’t ask me what I want.

You know it is no use.

My soul left long ago to haunt…

Your conscience.

I want my soul back! Give it back!!

I’m hollow bones and skin!

Why did you let me slowly die….

In your sin?

K. Aldaya, 4/25/16

Picture: http://favim.com/image/35911/

349. Where You Are

lost-love-Favim.com-3729332

If I climbed the tallest mountain,

Would I ever reach your heart?

Can I follow you to where you are,

Where we’ll never be apart?

If I traveled to the stars,

And found the universe;

Could I find space next to you,

And within your soul immerse?

If I found the answers,

To meaning and existence,

Would our destinies be one strand,

Of time’s web, rich and immense?

If I can’t climb that mountain,

Or search the twinkling heavens;

Or if I cannot give you,

The peace vast knowledge sends…

Will you remember that I existed,

If I can’t reach where you are?

Will you care that I had reached for you,

And traveled long and far?

Will you think of me sometimes?

K. Aldaya, 4/20/16

Picture: Uploaded by Helena888 on Favim; http://favim.com/image/3729332/

348. Drowning on the Surface

How is it the more I speak,

The more I feel misunderstood?

What’s the point of speaking,

When it never does me any good?

Why do I even bother,

What can be said or done?

No one wants deep relationships,

And I’m tired of every shallow one.

I have no energy to waste,

On trivial conversations.

There’s no worth for me in social conventions.

I’d rather dwell on inner contemplations.

I wish I didn’t have to speak,

When there’s no point to anyway.

No one listens or understands,

Or cares to try as they may…

To know another soul,

And connect beyond the skin.

It hurts too much to try again,

Just to drown once more in the skin.

K. Aldaya, 4/14/16

Picture: Photo from Google; Originally from Video: http://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-9892391-stock-footage-lonely-girl-at-rain-looks-at-dirty-forest-pond-worried-girl-sitting-with-hands-over-head-stares-to.html