In my mind I’m not fit to be anything that you might see.
I’ll never belong with my own and will be forever ‘lone.
I know when people look at me they see the freak that I be.
I try to hide what I am, but I always fail their exam.
I can feel their hate and disgust, for me, whom they distrust.
K. Aldaya, 4/15/04
Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://a.wattpad.net/cover/3283593-256-k508337.jpg
Back and forth. Back and forth.
The winds hit the trees;
Winds from the North,
More than a breeze.
Tiny clouds. Tiny clouds.
Are all that is there.
Tiny sky shrouds,
Winded near bare.
Blue skies. Blue skies.
Allow for sun’s warm to glorify,
The planets’ form.
Today now. Today now.
This place seems happy,
‘Gods’ great endow,
To you and to me.
A moment. A moment.
Is all it can bring.
All sin descends,
My heart can’t sing.
Reality. Reality.
Returns here once more.
New gravity.
I hit the floor.
K. Aldaya, 3/22/04
Picture: “Zero Gravity Series” by Nikolay Tikhomirov; http://www.123inspiration.com/zero-gravity-surreal-photos-of-women-floating-by-nikolay-tikhomirov/
I stand at the edge,
Trying to stand firm.
Stand at this ledge,
To live out this term.
I feel my feet,
Half off this cliff.
The darkness I’ll meet,
If I loosen this stiff.
Sky black as coal.
Hear all the shadows,
Behind me in whole,
Sending cold-blows.
They poke and prod me,
At all the hours.
They won’t let me be,
With their mean powers.
They’ve forced me over,
With hands I hang.
The shadows, they were, laughing; the whole gang.
Taunting at my struggle,
With sweat on brow.
Between hands I juggle,
To keep hold…, but how?
Their cold, cruel ways,
Pushed me o’er.
On my heart it weighs,
Their ruthlessness galore.
Why can’t they see that I’m slipping?
They care not of me,
And that I’ve no gripping.
I’ve got to be tough,
Never let them know.
That I’ve not enough,
To resist their flow.
K. Aldaya, 3/20/04
Picture: from Dark Shadows; http://www.awn.com/vfxworld/mpc-takes-bite-out-dark-shadows
All will cruelly condemn you for doing some bad things,
Though never even notice you when wearing angel wings.
When you make a few mistakes or two, occasionally.
All will want to point each out to you, bitterly.
Why, all you people, are you so mean,
To the ones that from all sad they glean?
Stop being judgmental, all you people here that dwell,
For you’re sending hearts into the depths of a hell.
K. Aldaya, 3/29/04
Picture: “Jigoku Shoujo” by Rhonda21; http://s240.photobucket.com/user/numot/media/Jigoku-Shoujo_Rhonda21_46264.jpg.html?o=0
Amid darkness the large oak trees,
Reach out to me in the breeze.
The darkness hovers over my head.
The black clouds continually stomp and tread.
No stars can be seen, nor moon.
I only hope that day come soon.
Lost in black I feel them near,
And hear their screaming in my ear.
The voices that linger in great sadness,
And eternally dwell in darks’ abyss.
I can feel their full heart pain,
And the madness in their brain.
My head is pounding and pounding,
With all the pain resounding.
The dark swallows my last daylight,
And I am lost into the night.
K. Aldaya, 3/23/04
Picture: Abyss by Ishutani on Deviant Art: http://ishutani.deviantart.com; http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/089/8/6/abyss_by_ishutani-d5ztss6.jpg
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 
